Busyness

So here I am - a little over 4 weeks into my re-adjustment to life back in California - with 3 months left on my home-tour, and I feel like I am finally now getting used to being an American - all over again.

Have you ever felt so busy that there wasn't enough time in the day to get everything done? Overwhelmed by so many things to do and places to be? Or maybe your schedule has been keeping you from really going deep in life, and relationships - even your relationship with God. Have you ever been so busy, that it was actually hard to see God in the midst of everything? Maybe feeling like there just isn't enough time in the day, isn't how it is supposed to be. Did God intend for our lives as Americans to be this way (most other cultures don't seem to struggle with this)?

My first two weeks were a crucible of sorts - re-learning to juggle people, places, things, work, and events left me feeling almost breathless and reaching for direction. Ministry in El Salvador was never easy - but it was straight-forward. Study the Bible - Teach the Bible. Invest in relationships - Make disciples. Each day organized itself into the most important priorities - God, people, and work.
Anything else that didn't fit into the day, was just left out.

Fast forward and fast track back to the US of A, and the daily equation of time management- and the needs behind it - become very big indeed. With too much to do, and not enough time - almost everything finds its way onto the chopping block at one point or another. But what should we cut out, and what do we keep?

Jesus' ministry obligations were so demanding that He found Himself skipping meals at times (Mark 3:20, John 4:31, Matthew 12:1)- though we know that some of the best time that He spent with His disciples and followers was also during meals (Luke 10:38-41, Luke 22:14-23). We may live in one of the only countries in the wolrd that has plenty of food, but still skips meals, and has to be reminded by our national media to eat breakfast, all because we are too busy.

So with all of this busyness surrounding me, is it surprising that I've often felt overwhelmed?This last week has been a mix for me of working some construction jobs, and preparing materials to share with the different congregations and groups I will be visiting and hosting- to raise awareness, and prayer and financial support. This Sunday I will be sharing with Calvary Chapel Santa Cruz (my home church) - and having two different El Salvador themed dinner parties over the course of the next two weeks to raise awareness as well. I have missed a few meals trying to juggle everything during this time, but am still encouraged. God, People, and work for His kingdom are my priorities. And I know that if I seek Him first, I can't go wrong.

Prayer Points:
Please continue to pray for me as I take the time to share my heart for El Salvador - and fir God's work there with my home congregation (and others in the weeks to come).Please pray for

1. The encouragement of the Body of Christ as I share. Please pray that God would stir up hearts and minds, encouraging everyone that is present to desire a deeper relationship with God, and to walk in faith.

2. That those in the body who may be praying about becoming missionaries would be encouraged, equipped and challenged to walk in the calling.

3. That God would raise up from the Body men and women to be a part of the ministry in El Salvador - through a commitment to prayer, and regular financial giving. (If you are interested in supporting me, you can do so by clicking the paypal button on the right hand side of this page, or by giving through Calvary Chapel Santa Cruz online by clicking here, selecting 'special missions', and writing 'El Salvador' in the space below)

Homecoming

In January I left from my home in California for three months, to get to know and experience life and ministry in El Salvador.
The purpose of my trip - to spy out the land - to see first hand the blessings and challenges of serving in one of the most dangerous and beautiful countries in Latin America.
Will I be able to live here long term? Do I have what it takes? Do I have the faith and the character to follow God where I believe He has called me, and trust Him for protection, provision, and blessing?

I was met with many ministry oportunities, as well as challenges. I spent my mornings and afternoons teaching the Bible to hundreds of youth, was able to work with my fiancee teaching Sunday school classes to children in the slums, and spent time building discipleship relationships with several young men. I was also confronted on a daily basis with the risks and dangers of working in a country plagued with violence, crime, and poverty; and came face to face with things that I had never imagined or desired to experience. There were days and moments where I was just overwhelmed. Can these challeneges be overcome?



In the book of Numbers, God tells His people to send a small group of men ahead of the people to 'spy out' the land that He has lead them to, and promised for them.

Of the 12 that go in to spy out the land, 10 are of accord (Numbers 13:31)- 'this land cannot being conquered - the challenges are too great'

But Caleb, a true man of faith, chose to stand on God's promises
"Then Caleb quieted the people before Moses, and said, “Let us go up at once and take possession , for we are well able to overcome it"



My travel back to California on Tuesday was the most dificult I've had. My travel started with security problems, a four hour delay, missed 'good-byes', and a packed flight. When I got to my connecting flight, I thought the worst was over - until I was hit with a migraine. Curled up in my seat with my head throbbing, and tears streaming down my face, I began begging the LORD for healing and comfort from my migraine, and everthingy else; and my worries and doubts came back up to the surface.

"Do I really have what it takes to come back to El Salvador? Will I even be able to raise the support money to be able to live there? Will the LORD provide? Will He protect me, and my future wife?"

Then, just when it all became too much, I heard His still small voice speak, "Follow my presence, give up seeking comfort, and I will be with you."

In the moment He spoke, my migraine was healed. My time of preparation for everything ahead had begun. Staying in the states, living the safe and comfortable life is too easy. I want to follow His call, and His presence. I want to be His obediant servant. And I trust Him for everything.

My plan for this time in California is simple. Spend four months working, serving, and raising prayer and financial support, before returning to El Salvador and serving the LORD there in Calvary Chapel with a long term commitment. The Lord has given me open doors to serve Him in a nation filled with the blessings of revival, and the thousands of men and women that are coming to faith in El Salvador are in great need of Bible teaching, and discipleship. There are many giants in El Salvador as well - daily violence and destitute poverty are hard things to overcome, and can be emotionally, physically, and spiritually overwhelming. But God is bigger.

With my future marriage on the horizon, and with needed ministry waiting for me in El Salvador - I choose to take the position that Caleb took - and stand firm on the promises and calling of God, while I prepare for the things ahead.


Quick Prayer Points:

1. Please pray for God's protection and provision- for myself, and my future wife, as we both seek to serve the LORD in El Salvador.

2. Please pray that God would use this time of preparation to raise up men and women to be a part of our ministry in El Salvador through committed financial, spiritual, and emotional support.

3. Please pray that God would prepare my heart and mind for the things He has for me, and that I would be submissive to His will and His purposes every step of the way.

4. Please pray for Rebeca and I as we seek the LORD in preparation for our future marriage and ministry together.

January means a new year

As I write this I am sitting in El Salvador. After more than a year of prayer, God has opened the door for me to work here.
The capital city of El Salvador, San Salvador, is home to some of the highest murder, and violent crime rates in the world – but is also the epicenter of the largest church expansion in Latin America. In ten short years the Church has more than doubled – going from less than 20% of the population, to a staggering 50%. Now the question being asked isn’t “who will tell them?”, but “who will disciple them?” – and many here are found praying the same thing that Jesus instructed his disciples to pray – that the LORD of the harvest would send out more workers.
What is the difference between explosive church growth, and revival?
Discipleship.

Tomorrow morning I have the great privilege of waking up, getting dressed, and starting my first day of ministry with Calvary Chapel San Salvador. My desire is to serve in the great work that God is doing through their ministry – and if HE permits, to learn to work in a great dream of my own – church planting – discipleship at its core. Calvary Chapel San Salvador has already planted eight churches in 15 years – with the desire to continue planting them as the LORD leads.
So here it goes. Tomorrow is step one.

*Prayer Points*
New place, new prayers.

1. Ministry - please pray for my ministry here - serving in the Church as the LORD leads. Please pray for open doors, and open hearts. Please pray that that I would be a blessing to the people and the church.
2. Safety - As I mentioned, San Salvador is one of the most violent cities in the world. The murder rates are very high. Though we are not given to a spirit a fear, we don't want to be lacking in prayer and diligence either. Please pray for my safety as I live and work here in El Salvador.
3. Provision - The cost of living here is comparable to that of living in the US, and is about 4 times more expensive than Nicaragua; that means that my support has to multiply by four. Please pray for my financial support to increase, and for God to grant me wisdom as I manage my finances, and favor, humility, and creativity as I look to raise support.

2010 in Summary!

Check out my latest video to end the year with, 2010 in Summary. Comments and of course, prayers, are appreciated!

MissionalVision: Summer 2010 Video Update

Hey Guys! I just finished putting together a quick 2-minute update video for those of you interested in seeing it. Please check it out and let me know what you all think!

Overwhelmed

Recently a close friend asked me what teaching children in Nicaragua was like. As I searched my mind to grasp for the right words to describe it, I realized that I needed more time to think about the question. Describing my life in Nicaragua and the missionary work here sometimes feels like last thing I want to do. There are so many different, beautiful, amazing, crazy, sad, and even hurtful things about living and working with the people here (and especially their children); let alone the emotions that come with the experience, that sometimes it seems easier not to think about or describe it -

Last week, I brought some pan dulce (sweet rolls) and bananas for two of my students that have been absent from school the last few days. The older girl (one of my 9-year-old 4th Graders) had been left to care for her seven year old brother (one of my 1st Graders) and her four year old sister while her parents were gone working. This is the same girl who, due to malnutrition, has had fainting spells and severe headaches in my classes; and already missed a week of school two months ago when she burned herself with hot oil while cooking trying to cook for her siblings. The clincher today is that the two younger children that she is taking care of, who have both had many health problems, have just been diagnosed with Hepatitis A (a very painful viral infection which attacks the liver - also almost unknown to most children in the States). And they are almost nearly all alone to deal with it.

The world is an overwhelming place. If you let it, it will tear you apart. Love, joy, pain, sorrow – they are all feelings too intense by themselves to experience or try to take on without Jesus. The Bible tells us that Satan, a fallen angel, is our enemy, and wants to kill us(Is 14:12-21, 1Pet 5:8). We see strong men and women overwhelmed time and time again in the bible – when Jesus and the disciples start sailing on the sea of Galilee – the storm picks up and the disciples loose it (Mark 4:37-38), or when Peter starts to walk on water – but then sinks because of his fear (Matt 14:28-30); even Jesus himself felt overwhelmed – sweating blood while praying in the garden of Gethsemane (Luke 22:44) – and then there's his His famous words on the cross “Eloi Eloi, lama sabachthani” - my God why have you forsaken me (Mark 15:34).

What's it like teaching these children? It's like being overwhelmed, time and time again. So what do you do when you're overwhelmed?

I just started going through the book of John with my 4th grades in Bible class. It's been a really interesting time teaching them, and a real blessing for me as I fall in love with the book of John all over again.

While sitting alone and reading through and reading through chapter 1 for the fiftieth time, I was struck flat in the face by a passage I have probably read through several times without ever really thinking about.

The following day Jesus wanted to go to Galilee, and He found Philip and said to him, "Follow Me." Now Philip was from Bethsaida, the city of Andrew and Peter. Philip found Nathanael and said to him, "We have found Him of whom Moses in the law, and also the prophets, wrote--Jesus of Nazareth, the son of Joseph." And Nathanael said to him, "Can anything good come out of Nazareth?" Philip said to him, "Come and see." Jesus saw Nathanael coming toward Him, and said, "Behold, an Israelite indeed, in whom is no deceit!" Nathanael said to Him, "How do You know me?" Jesus answered and said to him, "Before Philip called you, when you were under the fig tree, I saw you." Nathanael answered and said to Him, "Rabbi, You are the Son of God! You are the King of Israel!" Jesus answered and said to him, "Because I said to you, "I saw you under the fig tree,' do you believe? You will see greater things than these."

John 1:43-50

 

So here I am, feeling overwhelmed and discouraged and unable to do anything about the craziness around me in this completely foreign country, and here is the story of Nathanael's calling as an Apostle. Nathanael (also referred to as Bartholomew) doesn't make a lot of appearances in the New Testament - although we know that Jesus appeared to him after his resurrection, and that he was there for the ascension as well (Jesus did promise that he would see great things). We also know from history that he would be the first missionary to reach (and be martyred in) India. His life story wasn't as interesting to me right now as his initial attitude when meeting Jesus, and Jesus' response.

When Phillip enthusiastically shares Jesus with Nathanael, Nathanael responds with one of the Pharisee's favorite mantras, 'can anything good come from Nazareth?'. When Phillip later brings Nathanael to meet with Jesus, Jesus praises him as being 'a true Israelite free of deceit' - but Nathanael responds by further questioning Jesus' words and personage-

"How do you know me?" He asks Jesus.

And this is where Jesus really demonstrates who he is.


"Before Philip called you, when you were under the fig tree, I saw you." 

Jesus had seen Nathanael before, even though Nathanael had never seen him. Jesus knew where Nathanael was, and what he had been doing. He knew what Nathanael had been thinking, and what was in his heart. When Nathanael thought he was alone, he wasn't really, because God's presence was there, and Jesus was God. And in knowing all that Nathanael had done (certainly well beyond just his time under the fig tree), Jesus still sought him out in person, and called him out as being an upright, true, and honest man.

And then Jesus gave him the promise that he would see great things done.

So here I am, sitting alone under my proverbial fig tree, reading the scriptures, and this story stands out to me. Jesus, this awesomely powerful, loving, just, and strong God, was teaching Nathanael that he was not alone - that he had been called and sought out, and Nathanael both saw and did great things because the rest of his life because of it.

Maybe feeling overwhelmed, isn't so bad. I still feel the pangs of it, but I know now that I am definitely not alone. Am I still unable to change the crazy circumstances around me? Sadly, yes - but then I remember that I don't have to, because know I know that I too will see Jesus do great things because of my little faith. So then - so what if I feel bad - because here I am praying and reading the scriptures, and the same Jesus of the scriptures is using his word and reaching out to me! 


Maybe in the end, being overwhelmed isn't such a bad place to be after all - it seems to do a really good job of bringing me to the Lord. Who knows, then, if in the end that's what drove Nathanael to take his quiet time 'under the fig tree' as well.

 

Why the Silence?

It's been nearly six weeks since my last blog post - and though most of you are content to wait patiently, some of you are asking 'why the silence?'. Six weeks ago, I felt like I was asking the same thing -

Why the silence God?

Seeking Him daily, fasting, praying, reading my Bible and book after Christian book - and still the silence seemed the loudest thing around.
Could it be that instead of answering my all my life's questions for direction...
or listening to my requests for help in ministry...
that God really just wants to talk with me, to have a conversation with me, and to share His heart with me?
Is it really that surprising that He sometimes chooses to put a pause on the communication; especially when I get so wrapped up in myself - in my wants, my needs, my desires, that I fail to hear from Him?
Is it so incomprehensible that God could feel hurt, or even get tired of such a one-sided conversation in a relationship?

And yet even then, silence isn't really the right word, is it? Jesus said that even the rocks would cry out declaring the glory of God if we didn't (Luke 19:40). Psalm 148 shows us that the whole earth is declaring His glory - and that the majesty of the LORD is spread across the sky. Have you ever stopped to see His majesty in the sky? In times of great need and great silence I am very often overwhelmed and overtaken watching the beauty of the stars or the sunset as they brilliantly scream "God is good! He is a God of love! He is a God of power!". And yet, it only seems that in the moments of silence we are actually able to stop and look. What does this stir up in your heart when you think about it? What feelings or images come to your mind? As I exhale slowly and deeply, I'm caught up in the Gospel narrative, somewhere between creation and the crucifixion, enraptured with the idea of a God so powerful, yet so loving, that overtaken by His own love He choses to love me. How could I have been so negligent, so stubborn, in actually rejecting a relationship with God in exchange for blessings from Him?

And when the silence lifts (because it always lifts), I remember again the deep joy and sweet comfort of hearing His voice uninterrupted. But somehow, I feel different. I feel like I know Him better; or at least, I trust Him more for who He is. And I miss Him, and am excited to hear His voice. They say that "absence makes the heart grow fonder". What does it all mean? Sometimes even after leaving the fog behind, I still don't feel like I know exactly where I am going, but I am learning to thank God for the silence.