"My life's adventures, work, and walk with God as a missionary in Latin America"




Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Back in El Salvador

After nearly five intense months of preparation, I am back in El Salvador - and back at work - continuing the pursuit of the call of God in my life. But it hasn't all been smooth sailing, and although I left Santa Cruz with nearly 90% of my committed support raised, and my care team willing and ready, there were many challenges here that awaited me.


My re-entry goals for these first weeks in El Salvador were rather simple - buy an affordable car, rent an adequate apartment, and pass through the time consuming process of gaining 'Missionary Residency' in El Salvador.


But it hasn't been all simple. Out of the 14 days that I have been in El Salvador, six of those were spent sick with painful and debilitating intestinal parasites. On day nine, Rebeca found, and I went and rented the perfectly located apartment, and then on day 10, while moving me in, we discovered that the apartment has no running water. On day 12, I found a car to buy, and on day 13, I was told (before buying it, thanks to God) that it had broken down. Yesterday, I also took my first step in the involved process of applying for and getting my Missionary Residence, and thanks to God, and help from Rebeca, it went very well.


Honestly, I have felt overwhelmed. I am starting to think that 'overwhelming' is one of God's favorite tools for character formation. And yet even when I start to feel this way, there is one thing that hovers in my mind. Psalm 149:2 says:



Let Israel rejoice in their Maker;
Let the children of Zion be joyful in their King.


It's pretty simple. I have a maker, and He is God. I belong to a king, who is looking out for me, and is responsible for my well being, and that king is the LORD Jesus Christ. So I rejoice, and am able to be joyful, even in trials.


Whether I find a house and car, or not. Whether I am given residency, or not. My job is to work as unto the LORD in all that I do, and place all of my trust in Him - and not in things. My calling is to honor Him as my Maker and King, and to rejoice in the simple experience of knowing Him - and in that rejoicing, invite other to join me.


Yesterday, after spending more than 4 hours at government offices in pursuit of my residency, Rebeca and I boarded a bus to leave, and found ourselves entering into a place of conflict. In El Salvador, Evangelists, Beggars, Activists, and Campaigners regularly board buses to publicly share their opinions with the crowds captive audiences gathered there. Often I have found myself praying along as many a brave man stood up to share the Gospel.


But the scene on the bus was different this time around. A man stood up and began to intimidate the crowd with his booming voice and cries of outrage. He chastised them for their intolerance and judgement of his sexual practices. He blamed them for the self hatred and other emotional difficulties that he and other homosexuals had gone through. He charged them to accept and embrace all sexual practices as right and good. And then he threatened them with hellfire and the wrath of God for their supposed 'sins';
twisting and turning Bible verses about love, acceptance, and judgement to his favor, and misquoting stories about the life of David.


The crowd from the beginning had the heads bowed; whether because of shame or fear I will never
know. From the beginning, I felt a struggle within myself as to whether or not I should speak up, and what I should say. Rebeca was sitting next to me, overwhelemed and shocked.


When he began to quote the Scriptures, I could hold my peace no longer. It is one thing to sin, and yet another thing entirely to deceive others into participating in it. Finally, I spoke out.


"You sir, are wrong, and the Bible does not support your position."
My voice answered his. And with a supernatural love and direction, I began to share
"We do not reject you, sir. You are even welcome to come and visit our church."
"We love you in the love of God, the same love that gave you the gift of life, and the freedom to stand here and speak."
Some raised their heads, others opened their eyes, some even covered their ears.
"But we do not love your sin, and will not accept it. Neither will God. You must repent - for all sin is an affront against God"
"Your speech today is an attack against the very love of God, the same divine love that created you, and permits you to stand here and share with these people"
"Some would have you believe that God will reject you because of your sin, but I tell you now that their IS forgiveness for you in the heart of God, if you repent and accept Him."
"Do not fight against the love of God! Repent, and accept Him!"


Red in the face, he looked past my gazed, and repeated his charge to the passengers; one, two, three or more times - full of fury, yet with a deep set confusion upon his face.


As we stood to get off of the bus, a man touched my shoulder, and thanked me for what I had shared. What impact I had, I may never know. But in my mind one thing is clear and important.

I want to honor my King.





Prayer and Praise:

Praise God for my safe arrival back in El Salvador
Praise God for raising up my financial support and care team before I left
Pray for Rebeca and I as she helps me look for the right car and house for me to live in
Pray for me as I start to serve full time in the ministry here with CCSS
Pray for Rebeca as she finishes her University classes this year
Pray for our wedding and future marriage next year
Pray for both of us to clearly hear God's voice, and grow in out intimacy with Him

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Why the Silence?

It's been nearly six weeks since my last blog post - and though most of you are content to wait patiently, some of you are asking 'why the silence?'. Six weeks ago, I felt like I was asking the same thing -

Why the silence God?

Seeking Him daily, fasting, praying, reading my Bible and book after Christian book - and still the silence seemed the loudest thing around.
Could it be that instead of answering my all my life's questions for direction...
or listening to my requests for help in ministry...
that God really just wants to talk with me, to have a conversation with me, and to share His heart with me?
Is it really that surprising that He sometimes chooses to put a pause on the communication; especially when I get so wrapped up in myself - in my wants, my needs, my desires, that I fail to hear from Him?
Is it so incomprehensible that God could feel hurt, or even get tired of such a one-sided conversation in a relationship?

And yet even then, silence isn't really the right word, is it? Jesus said that even the rocks would cry out declaring the glory of God if we didn't (Luke 19:40). Psalm 148 shows us that the whole earth is declaring His glory - and that the majesty of the LORD is spread across the sky. Have you ever stopped to see His majesty in the sky? In times of great need and great silence I am very often overwhelmed and overtaken watching the beauty of the stars or the sunset as they brilliantly scream "God is good! He is a God of love! He is a God of power!". And yet, it only seems that in the moments of silence we are actually able to stop and look. What does this stir up in your heart when you think about it? What feelings or images come to your mind? As I exhale slowly and deeply, I'm caught up in the Gospel narrative, somewhere between creation and the crucifixion, enraptured with the idea of a God so powerful, yet so loving, that overtaken by His own love He choses to love me. How could I have been so negligent, so stubborn, in actually rejecting a relationship with God in exchange for blessings from Him?

And when the silence lifts (because it always lifts), I remember again the deep joy and sweet comfort of hearing His voice uninterrupted. But somehow, I feel different. I feel like I know Him better; or at least, I trust Him more for who He is. And I miss Him, and am excited to hear His voice. They say that "absence makes the heart grow fonder". What does it all mean? Sometimes even after leaving the fog behind, I still don't feel like I know exactly where I am going, but I am learning to thank God for the silence.