The Author of Details

The school year is about to start, with two weeks left and counting. As the classroom and students get prepared, with fresh paint on walls and with new clothes on backs, I know that my preparation starts not on the exterior, but within my heart.

What is it that God desires from me this year? What is his plan for my fourth graders? What things does He want to speak into their lives? What healing and deep revelation does He have in store for them? What will prepare them for what lies ahead?

Without knowing why exactly He has called me to Nicaragua, and without needing to know, I prepare to take a step forward into the unseen, confident not in what shall catch my foot as it falls, but in who is holding me up. I feel like a child, sitting on his father’s shoulders for the first time - walking home at dusk. I can’t quite see the ground beneath his feet, nor do I know exactly where he is taking me in the quickly darkening surroundings, but I know who my father is. The struggle then becomes struggle itself - for with every twist of my body and shaking of my legs, I further incite the risk of falling from of his shoulders, and meeting the ground that I so fear below.

I’ve been told that the primary responsibility we have in the lives of God’s precious children is the development of their gifts. Children have the unique ability to see and believe in God and in His awesome love and power with staunch faith unmoved by even the ugliest of experiences the life has to offer- but are also endowed with the unique vulnerability and purity of being naïve and open to the all the world has to offer. So then who are these beautiful young men and women walking into my classroom? What does God have in store for their long lives? Where is He taking them on His shoulders? In what are they struggling with or stumbling by?

As I pray and mediate I finally understand that my being here has in actuality very little to do with me being here, and much more to do with God working in their lives. And so I thank God, that as we move forward together, it’s not about me or what I have to gain or offer, but about sitting quietly, resisting the urge to struggle, and appreciating the opportunity to safely move forward while gazing upward and outward at the beautiful night’s sky and all of her attractions.

And so, I will leave the details in the hands of the Author of details, and focus on the work ahead - while maintaining my sense of awe and wonder with the King, so great and noble, as to adopt me into His kingdom. The Author of details has it all worked out, all I have left to do is abide in obedience.