"I chose you before I formed you in the womb; I set you apart before you were born. I appointed you a prophet to the nations." But I protested, "Oh no, Lord God! Look, I don't know how to speak since I am only a youth." Then the Lord said to me: "Do not say: I am only a youth, for you will go to everyone I send you to and speak whatever I tell you. Do not be afraid of anyone, for I will be with you to deliver you." Then the Lord reached out His hand, touched my mouth, and told me: "Look, I have filled your mouth with My words. See, today I have set you over nations and kingdoms to uproot and tear down, to destroy and demolish, to build and to plant"
Jeremiah 1:5-10
When I am honest with God, and honest with myself, I feel like Jeremiah did, knowing that my words don't reach deep enough to touch the scarred hearts of the people in Nicaragua. I look in the mirror, and I see a ruddy eyed youth, rash but with an inner strength, with a love and passion I still don't fully understand, and all of it laid up there within me by a God greater than the near-infinite universe He created, waiting for my obedience to stir me to life again, and... I am only a youth.
And on a good day I am encouraged, although still strikingly unable to make a difference in my own power, and on a bad day...
shifting the focus from myself, I look into the scriptures.
"Do not say: I am only a youth, for you will go to everyone I send you to and speak whatever I tell you. Do not be afraid of anyone, for I will be with you to deliver you." Then the Lord reached out His hand, touched my mouth, and told me: "Look, I have filled your mouth with My words. See, today I have set you over nations and kingdoms to uproot and tear down, to destroy and demolish, to build and to plant"I suddenly remember that I am not here to succeed or to fail, but to obey. I remember that my words will fail, but that His words wont. I remember that I am on a mission, that doesn't have to do with who I am, but with who He is. I look at myself again and see something different; I am both broken in my fragility and weakness, and yet strong and formidable under His promise of protection. His words will reach deep enough. And so I wake up in the morning at 6:15, and I prepare for my heart to teach my classes, and, on a good day I remember to pray for my students, and for their hearts as well. I look for the Lord's promises for their lives. Kingdoms of darkness uprooted and destroyed - seeds of hope, faith, and truth planted. New lives built on new promises.
They say that sin is a like your credit card company, but worse. You always get your bill, and you always get it on time, but instead of paying sin, sin pays you.
The children in my class are still receiving their 'sin payments'.
For sin they have done or were a part of, for the sin their parents have done, or signed their children's names to, for the sin of their people and their nation.
But as 'faithful' a master as sin is, God is so much more faithful. His words and promises to these children are actively changing the face of their world. They are changing the homes that they live in, the families they live with, and the hearts that they live through. And it's something I have the opportunity of watching every day - in my classroom with my students - in visiting and talking with their parents, and in the neighborhood around me.
What is the power of a changed life? What does that mean?
It means that God is doing everything and more in the lives of these children. It means that He sees the abuses and hardships they go through, and is hurt deeper and more profoundly by it then they themselves can even begin to comprehend. It means that as 1st Corinthians chapter 1 tells us - He delights in using the weak and foolish things of the world to confound the wise and powerful. It means that as these children learn about who God is and what love really means, that God is actively working in them to prosper them and prepare them for great lives ahead of them. Not as doctors and lawyers, but as leaders in a mighty movement.
As mighty men and women of God - charging forward and challenging the darkness.
And so, I look at myself and say, I am just a youth, but God is not just a God.
He is the God, and He is loveliest answer and greatest resource this world could ever dream of having.
And so, the power of a changed life becomes more than possible - it becomes the very least of what God can do for these children, and for me.
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